Doing Scary Things!

It seems like one thing that a mission does really well is force you to look at yourself closely. That has really been true for me. I have discovered that I have been living most of my life in fear - fear of others getting mad at me, fear of not being competent and able to handle what comes my way, fear of being weak, helpless, and alone.

This mission has really helped me to face those fears. For the last two months, I have been afraid to leave the three-block area between my apartment and the temple unless I was with other people. After having been robbed twice in Italy and having someone tell me, "As a middle-aged American woman, you have a target on your back for thieves,' and after having the lecture at the MTC (given to all senior missionaries) about how we are targets for being robbed or attacked, I have been afraid to do anything except go to the office and the temple. I also have been afraid to go in any small stores because the shopkeepers want to talk with me and I can't understand anything they say!

But I decided that enough is enough! I am going to do scary things - not dangerous things, but things that are outside my comfort zone. I can't spend 18 months in my apartment!

November 2

Today was a holiday in Brazil (All Soul’s Day), so we had  it off. I rested a lot, but I also went out of my way to do scary things today. I went to a natural foods store that I had been afraid to go into because my Portuguese is so slow and halting. But I did it- and when the clerk started talking to me so quickly, instead of getting scared, I laughed and told him that he talks really fast! I told him that I think really slowly in Portuguese and asked him to speak more slowly. He slowed way down and I could understand him. I got to meet everyone who works in the store and found out that they are trying to learn English! So, they taught me some Portuguese and I taught them some English! They are all very nice.

Then I went to the local Japanese restaurant and ordered some takeout sushi- another scary thing. But they were very nice too! My third scary thing was planning a trip to Porto Alegre and Gramado with my friend from Pathway, Sister Jost. I am going to go down there on December 1-5 and she is coming to visit me on November 18-22 (hopefully!).

November 4

A few days ago, I saw a pretty blouse in the window of a little shop and went inside and bought it!

Today, I went back to the natural foods store and got a massage! It was only 15 minutes and it was a sitting up massage, but I did it! 

November 5

A few friends and I went to Embu das Artes today. I heard that it was a neat place - sort of a little town full of quirky little shops. We got an Uber and we all went together ($5 for a 30 minute ride!). It was so much fun shopping for Brazilian things! I didn't get really expensive things. I got a small rug for my living room, a sign for my wall, and a Tree of Life with all kinds of words on it - it is a real Brazilian Tree of Life- it has parrots in it!

We also ate outside under an umbrella and had steak, rice, and beans. It was a beautiful day in the low 70s with a slight breeze and some clouds. It was perfect for walking around. And I decided to do the scary thing - first, to organize this trip and second, to speak portuguese! I would look up what I was supposed to say and then just say it. I wouldn't have them read it. I would try to have an actual conversation with them!

I hope you all are doing well! Please comment!