Learning From my Mission

It has been said that the person who benefits the most from a mission is the missionary himself/herself. I know that my mission is changing me a lot. I have had to give up things that I used to depend on, but that have been replaced by better things. I mentioned it just a little in my last blog, but the way mental health treatment is going to be done in Brazil is changing, to bring it more into line with Brazilian law. The laws here regarding mental health treatment are very strict and although we are considered “pastoral counselors,” not therapists, such a term doesn’t seem to exist here. So, my responsibilities are going to change – exactly how is still unclear, although there are some indications as to what they might be. This has been difficult for me, to feel in limbo. During the last six weeks, I have tried so hard to do meaningful work here in Brazil, only to hit dead end after dead end, I have been pretty frustrated and discouraged. But this has also been a time of great learning for me – learning about my weaknesses and how I need to improve and learning about my relationship with Heavenly Father.

Learning about my Weaknesses and My Strengths

Weaknesses I feel like I have come out of the discouragement that I have been in for the last six weeks, and I finally have realized what the problem is – I have felt like I had no future. Taking care of my parents in their last 12 years left me frightened of getting old and isolated.  And when the changes in mental health treatment came in Brazil, I felt like, “It’s starting. You are being cut off from the people you worked with and just given computer tasks to do. This is the first step to your becoming isolated and forgotten.” I tried to think of positive things in the future and couldn’t, for the first time in my life, think of a single positive thing to look forward to. I know this seems overblown, but it has been my greatest fear for several years and it felt like it was staring me in the face.

Then, after a lot of prayer, fasting, scripture study, and pondering, I realized that I have the power to create my future – to choose to be healthy and to become stronger, so I can have a good future life with many fun things to look forward to.

Strengths Even though my personal life has been rough, I am having wonderful experiences in talking to missionaries. It is amazing to me that I can listen to a missionary describing complicated problems and suddenly, I will know exactly what the problem is and what to say. I will see the missionary, who may be shaking or tense, settle down, relax, and start to smile. It is wonderful to see that change – and sometimes, I am not even sure what I said that made a difference. I know part of it is just listening. But something I said resonated with the missionary. What a blessing this is to me!

I am also enjoying working with a missionary in one of the missions who came up with a mental health topic, based on what he had seen me teach. He wanted to teach it at a zone conference, and I helped him create the presentation. Now he is teaching it and he is so excited that the missionaries are learning how to simplify their lives so they will enjoy their missions more. It was fun to listen to him when he returned from teaching the first time, and all went well!

My Relationship with my Heavenly Father I am learning to ask deeper questions. I am learning to ask Heavenly Father more often whether what I am doing is right, and whether I am doing not just the right things, but in the right way. I am also learning to ask Heavenly Father, “What do I need to focus on today?” and then listen to the answer.

Lastly, I am doing something new and special. I put together sections from blessings that I have received over the years (ones that I have access to because they have been written down and are available digitally) and then I started color-coding them.

• The color yellow highlights my characteristics. I read that when I feel down on myself and want to feel better.
• The color green is my relationship with Heavenly Father. I read the sections in that color and I feel loved.
• The color pink is for parts that talk about trials. I read that to help me understand how to deal with trials and to see all the trials that I have come through in the past.
• The color blue is about things that I need to do. I read that to check whether I have done them and to see if paying more attention to those things would help me now.
• The color orange is for promised blessings or blessings I have already received.

Doing this has helped me to see patterns of things that Heavenly Father has been telling me for years, and the different ways He has said these things. I also see counsel from the past that is even more applicable today than it was then. This is like inspiration, or scripture just for me- The Book of Cheryl. Reading it really helps me to have an eternal perspective and to realize that I am a daughter of God.

Lastly, here are some fun photos of a trip we made downtown last weekend to Farol Santander, a building that was patterned after the Empire State Building. Today, it houses Santana Bank headquarters and a museum.  I hope you can see from this video - São Paulo literally goes for miles. There will be a downtown are full of skyscrapers, then a group of lower buildings. Then in the distance, you can see other groups of skyscrapers! 

Here are some photos from the museum.

I also went for Tex-Mex food (hard to find in São Paulo). They seated us right up front. I think Elder Blaser being a real cowboy was seen as good advertising for them!

And Easter is coming! These are chocolate Easter eggs, wrapped in pretty paper and hanging from the ceiling in a supermarket. A pretty sight!

One last thing! It rains every day here, which I am grateful for, because it lowers the temperature from around 90 degrees to 75 degrees. We are coming out of the heat of the summer and we are heading into fall now. Here is a video of the streets when it rains!